ALC - Homeward

My wife Roxanne has always said that she would rather attend a funeral than a wedding.  Sound morbid?  Though she finds weddings more fun because of the bride’s dress, the happy couple, and the festive receptions or dance, it rarely motivates her to improve, forgive, or rededicate her life.  Funerals do.

“Definition of a victim: a person to whom life happens.” ~ Peter McWilliams

Sometimes I wonder where I would be in my career if I had been more prepared for the academic requirements of college.  It’s not that I haven’t had my successes, but with the sputtering kind of start I had those first semesters at Utah State, it took more time than necessary, and a series of small miracles, to even graduate from college.

During a recent work day on the farm helping my father and uncle, I was digging a trench under a shed, where a water line would be place to water our pigs.  A backhoe was too big to fit under the roof, so the digging had to be by hand.  I needed a pick ax to loosen and pry up the large cobble rocks so common to the area.  My dad suggested that I look in the back of his pick up truck.

During a recent work day on the farm helping my father and uncle, I was digging a trench under a shed, where a water line would be place to water our pigs.  A backhoe was too big to fit under the roof, so the digging had to be by hand.  I needed a pick ax to loosen and pry up the large cobble rocks so common to the area.  My dad suggested that I look in the back of his pick up truck.

I have a good friend who has been through some tough things in his personal and family life recently.  He hadn’t returned my calls and I didn’t know how to reach out to help.  Fortunately we ran into one another the other day.  It was a little awkward and felt like it may be best to say hello and then back off to give him his space.  We were in an airport and happened to be on the same flight, so we had a few minutes to talk.  Soon the initial surface conversation ebbed, so we started to re-tell the story of a road-trip we had taken together over 16 years earlier.  My wife begged us not to go there again, as no one found it as hilarious as we seemed to.

Some of you probably know how much I\’m drawn to the country and to a simplified life style.  Well it\’s calling me again.  Last weekend I drove to my father\’s farm in Northeastern Utah and spent two days on a tractor plowing and disking the fields preparing them for planting.  Amazing how much business I could conduct on a cell phone inside the cab of the tractor!

Today I\’ve decided to share a blog post I wrote on the Family Bridge of a new family that I\’m working with.  I was in their home yesterday for the first time.  Just as in all families, I found that this family had many strengths and exceptions to the predominant problem story that is blocking their vision.  These exceptions are times when the \”normal\” didn\’t occur.  I thought you might appreciate seeing the solution focused nature of the work we do and be reminded that every family can benefit from this kind of focus.

The other night, when I heard myself saying \”Forget it…I don\’t want to talk about it.\” I heard this little angle pop up on my shoulder and ask me what the most important keys to good relationships are. I found myself acknowledging what I\’ve said, along with most professionals in our field, literally thousands of times. Good communication!

When we were newly weds, we lived in an apartment complex that was in a square shape, with a grassy courtyard in the middle. We were all facing IN. We knew everyone in...