ALC - Homeward

I’d feel pretty confident in betting that at least 95% of all parents have used the line “When I was your age I (fill in the blank)!” We see our kids doing or not doing something and we squint our eyes and shake our heads and think “Seriously?” At that age I was dating, driving, working, and so on.

I recently read a story in the book The Art of Friendship by Roger Horchow. It went like this:

Twenty years ago, my wife and I were vacationing in San Diego with my in-laws.  We went to see a dear family friend, who happened to be a Holocaust Survivor and psychotherapist.

I remember talking to a mother one day who apologized for the disastrous state of her living room as the floor was covered with Legos. She said “I didn’t clean today…I spent it playing with my youngest instead.” I was shocked…and impressed.

I remember talking to a mother one day who apologized for the disastrous state of her living room as the floor was covered with Legos. She said “I didn’t clean today…I spent it playing with my youngest instead.” I was shocked…and impressed.

There is always a gap when a student in treatment looks at going home or on to living independently.  They are tired of the rules and boundaries of treatment, but they have also learned the ropes and are comfortable too.

A script?  Really?  Is that necessary in parenting?  You bet it is.  Unless you are one of those rare people who can think and speak clearly when your buttons are being pushed.

As you\’ve learned, treatment programs are designed to be highly structured environments in which a lot of nurturing takes place. Everything in that particular \”world,\” is designed to encourage growth and nurture improvements along the way. A greenhouse serves much the same function. It\’s a place for seeds to sprout, reaching for sunlight, forcing roots into nutrient rich soil, being protected in a climate-controlled environment, safe from crowding, weeds or other destructive forces that would stunt their growth.