Valentine’s Day. What feelings do the day of love evoke for you? We all relate to it differently, depending on relationship status, past experiences, and whether we see it as an expression of authentic love or excessive consumerism.
In this article, we’ll look at some unexpected traditions and rites from around the world. We’ll wrap up with five rituals you can implement into your life for more love. Let’s dive in!
Valentine’s traditions vary around the world. Valentine’s Day stems from the Roman tradition Lupercalia. During Lupercalia, on February 15, young men stripped to their birthday suits – then ran around and spanked young women, allegedly to increase their fertility.
With the arrival of Christianity, Lupercalia slowly transformed into Saint Valentine. Legend has it that the Roman Emperor Claudius II banned marriages, because married men were less likely to want to go to war. A priest named Valentine didn’t like this ban, and went on to perform illegal marriages.
Sadly for the lovers, Valentine got busted and was executed on February 14. Who would have guessed that the day of love had such blood-stained origins?
In the United States, the display of love often takes material forms on Valentine’s Day. Chocolate, flowers, jewelry, and cards are the most common gifts, and the Americans don’t hold back – 18 billion dollars are spent annually!
In these East Asian countries, February 14 is reserved for celebrating men. Husbands, friends, and coworkers are pampered with chocolate. Women have to wait until a month later, on March 14, when they’re celebrated with cake, candy, and flowers. This day is called White Day.
But the type of chocolate matters. Husbands, boyfriends, or crushes get honmei-choco, the most expensive and luxurious chocolate. Giri-choco translates into “obligation chocolate” and is given to platonic connections, like friends or colleagues. Cho-giri choco is “ultra-obligation chocolate” reserved for unpopular men. Ouch.
In the UK, couples often go big on February 14 by having dream dates. During the day, gifts are exchanged. At night they enjoy a romantic, candlelit dinner at a cozy restaurant or at home.
If you’re single, consider booking a trip to Finland on Valentine’s Day. Here, the day is not a celebration of romantic love but friendship. It’s even called “Friend’s Day” (Ystävän Päivä). The official gift of the day is a pink rose. People also exchange candy, gifts, and cards with their pals.
In Peru, roses are swapped for orchids, which are native to the country. Many couples choose to get married on Valentine’s Day, so in many places, mass weddings are held.
If you’re Brazilian, you need to be patient. Brazilians don’t celebrate love on February 14 – they wait until June 12. June 12 is the day of Saint Anthony, the saint of marriage and matchmaking.
Argentinians don’t stick to one day. On top of February 14, they dedicate an entire week (between July 13 and July 20) to revering love. During that week, lovers exchange kisses for candy.
France is known as a romantic country, but used to have pretty brutal customs: each Valentine’s Day, they organized a loterie d’amour, a lottery of love. Singles lined up in houses facing each other: men on one side and women on the other. They then called each other through the windows and paired up.
The women who ended up without a partner held a ceremony where they burned images of men who had rejected them and yelled insults into the sky. Since the practice turned quite savage, the government decided to ban it.
In these Scandinavian countries, Gaekkebrev is a tradition where lovers write anonymous love letters to their love interest. The ritual starts with folding the paper and cutting intricate patterns into it so it almost looks like lace. It’s then decorated with poems and a pressed white flower (Snowdrop). The sender remains anonymous but leaves a clue in the form of one dot for each letter in their name.
A gaekkebrev isn’t reserved for lovers, though – it can also be sent to friends and relatives. The receiver then guesses who the sender is. If they guess right, the sender owes them an Easter egg on Easter. If not, she has to buy an egg for the sender.
Every year on Valentine’s Day, hundreds or even thousands of couples gather to get married in a mass ceremony. Often, the government sponsors these marriages to allow underprivileged couples to walk down the aisle.
In Slovenia, Saint Valentine is the patron saint of spring. February 14 marks the first day of working in the fields for the new year. It’s believed that on this day, the plants start to regenerate and come to life again.
Legend has it that the birds “propose” to each other on this day. To witness this ceremony, you have to walk barefoot through the fields – that are still frozen.
The official love celebration day, which is more like February 14, is March 12, Saint Gregory’s Day.
South Africans celebrate the traditional way – with flowers, gifts, and chocolate. But it doesn’t stop there! They literally wear their hearts upon their sleeves. Young girls pin the name of their beloved and wear it on their sleeve for the day (this comes from the Roman tradition Lupercalia mentioned in the intro – but in a more polished version).
Rituals can sound complicated, but they don’t have to be. A ritual can be anything you bring into your life and fill with intent, devotion, and repetition. When you ritualize, you simply assign a deeper meaning to something.
And when we put intention and meaning into something, we help the energy of that experience move. This facilitates positive change. It’s helpful if you want to establish a new habit, start a project, or undertake a life change.
An example is to light a candle daily for a month while focusing on a wish you want to bring into your life. Every time you focus on that wish, you reinforce it in the noetic realms and increase the chances of bringing it to fruition in the physical world.
Here are some love rituals to try out:
Whether you’re mourning a recent breakup, or a long-lost love, February 14 can feel a bit heavy (if you’re not in Finland). The following ritual is best done during a waning moon.
This ritual will help you call in a soulmate!
If you’re in a relationship, this simple ritual will help you feel closer and bring more love into your daily lives.
To deepen the most important relationship in your life – the one with yourself – you can use a practice called confidence shower:
At first, it may feel uncomfortable and strange. But with time, you’ll appreciate it and even believe it, as your subconscious mind has gotten used to the praise, and what’s familiar is often unconsciously taken as truth.
This ritual is crucial for all your relationships – because you can only love others to the extent you love yourself.
This acronym LOVING helps remind you of key ingredients in healthy interactions, that you’d want to bring into your relationship as much and as frequently as possible.
L: Laughter
O: Openness
V: Vitality
I: Individuality
N: Non-defensiveness
G: Generosity
The more you can infuse these aspects into your relationships, especially those of a romantic nature, the more they’ll thrive!
As we’ve seen, Valentine’s love rituals vary between different countries and cultures. Which ritual would you like to make a new tradition?
While these rituals can be fun to experiment with, and most people enjoy getting gifts, it’s important not to forget their essence: to experience more love in our lives, every day, in every interaction. After all, that’s why we’re here on Earth.